Is There Too Much Fad In Your Diet?

The other day I saw a preview for the new iPod touch. If you haven't seen it, it's literally the iPhone minus the phone capabilities. It does everything else and looks damn near identical. Does it look like a cool gadget? Sure. Do I want one? Hell no. Why you may ask? For the same reason I'm one of 2 people in this country who doesn't want an iPhone and refuses to buy an iPod: I hate trendy shit.

Now, to be clear I'm a fairly normal guy. Most of the people who utter the aforementioned statement walk around with black nail polish on their fingers and collars around their necks. The self-proclaimed nonconformists of the world. I'm not trying to judge a whore by her cover charge, but I think you see my point. Of course, the funny thing about this type of nonconformist is that they've simply conformed to a different set of rules and guidelines, but that's neither here nor there. I shop at American Eagle and Abercrombie, I root for New England sports teams even though I live in New England and I listen to music that I perceive to be cool. In other words, I'm not a hard edged, anti-conformist sociopath. However, that doesn't change the fact I stated previously: I hate trends. Allow me to explain.

Like I said, I don't own an iPod. I never will own an iPod. I don't own one because it's one of the trendiest devices of our time. Pink, silver, black, white, I hate em all. I have of course used many iPods in my time to listen to music, because everyone I know has one. I will admit that they do their job well and I do not hate them for being junk. But that doesn't change the fact that I can pay less and get another device with a different name that does the job just as well for less money. I have 2 MP3 players, both of which have the capacity of a $150-200 iPod for under $100. People could argue that my MP3 players do not have the peripheral support of an iPod and they may be right but I don't really care about that. I want a device that allows me to listen to illegally downloaded music without fuss and my MP3 players allow me that. Hell, my cell phone now allows me to do that. Sure it can't play music videos or hold over 1,500 songs, but why the hell would I want it to? The iPod is a perfect example of a trend because people think it is far superior to other products without any justification other than "everyone has them". It doesn't matter if they never actually take advantage of the video capabilities, it's just nice to have it. In a latest, greatest, keeping up with the Joneses kind of way. Which isn't inherently awful, but I nearly flip out when I say the words MP3 player and someone corrects me by saying: "You mean iPod?" No, I don't mean iPod.

I can't say exactly why it is that I hate trends so passionately, but the fact remains that I do. Here is a great example. I know you've seen dozens of people walking around with what look like shoes built for inmates or the mentally unstable who happen to be pulling latrine duty. I am, of course, talking about Crocs. This is just the most embarrassing fad since wearing your jeans backwards like Kriss Kross in the early 90's. No, it's worse because back then you didn't have to buy new jeans specifically for the purpose of looking like a retard. So if you own a pair of Crocs (or any of the limitless knock-offs) do me a favor and slap yourself across the face right now. Hard. Don't worry, I'll wait. What's wrong with people? I mean, have they seen these things? Solid rubber clogs. Mmm boy, that's sexy. You know how you watch something like I Love The 80's and you laugh and laugh because people went out and got themselves Flock Of Seagulls haircuts? Well guess what, people watching I Love The 2000's will be laughing at people wearing the dumbest footwear since...ever. They'll say what were they thinking and they'll be right. I've heard the argument that even though they're ugly, they really comfortable. So is walking around bare ass naked, but I almost never do that in public. There are literally thousands of different kinds of shoes out there, are you telling me that people can't find a big, comfy sneaker or a nice airy sandal that provides similar comfort without looking the lovechild of a broken condom and a cheap piece of lawn furniture? People buy these for no other reason than them being trendy. Don't believe me? Do you really think people will still be wearing/selling these in 5 or 10 years?

I wrote a quote about trends that might be at home in the WWW section, I'll share it right here though:

I hate trends. Not popularity validated by a products supremacy over competition, but mass acceptance based on conformity. To me giving in to a trend like this signifies a loss of self, a surrendering of individuality for the hollow aim of fitting in. -JT

That really sums up my feelings as well as anything else. I don't have a problem with people buying something because they like it or because they've looked into it and that item is the best choice. I just don't admire people who have to be floating in the center of the trend current, buying things that other people say are cool or looking like someone else says they should look. Don't get me started on the ridiculously huge, oversized, bugeyed sunglasses craze that every single woman in America is in on. What a horrible way for an attractive woman to hide her face so that men can't even tell. Way to go ladies. But that's my opinion. Go ahead and follow the masses, allow them to choose your shit for you. Just because I refuse to buy anything I perceive as trendy, such as a Razor phone (almost everyone I know who owns one hates it), doesn't mean you have to. And if you don't want to jump into a trend right off, wait it out. You'll be able to get the stuff that everyone is going crazy over today for 75% off in the bargain bins tomorrow.