So I like to think of myself as an educated guy and I try to keep up with what's going on with the world. I read CNN.com on a daily basis (not because I like the network AT ALL, but because the site is well laid out, covers relevant stories and updates constantly). So I read a story today that I felt compelled to write a little something about. Think I'm gonna say something about the Olympics? I love em, but nope. The conflict between Russia and Georgia? I'm sick of it already. No, what I'd like to point your attention to is an article titled "Dozens Protest at 'Tropic Thunder' Premiere". I'll save you some time so you don't have to run over there and take a look. Basically, a lot of people are very upset that the movie has fun at the expense of the mentally disabled.
Yeah, the protesters lined up because apparently during the new Ben Stiller comedy the characters throw the word retard around like it's their job. Oops, am I not supposed to say "that" word? Don't be retarded, I can say whatever the hell I want. Retard advocacy groups are upset, the Special Olympics is trying to organize a boycott of the film and signs like "Ban the movie, Ban the word" are being flashed by protesters. I hope you'll excuse me for a lack of sympathy, but are you serious? Welcome to America assholes.
I'm sure many people think I'm an insensitive jerk, but things like this really piss me off. Ban the movie? Are these people aware that the same Bill of Rights that gives them the right to protest the movie gives the movie makers the right to make and show the movie? Or is this irony lost on them as it is on most morons who walk around with signs trying to promote censorship? They sound like retards when I put it that way don't they? Ok, I'm getting mean, but I'm offended by their being offended. I don't know where this incredible sensitivity comes from, but it's extremely prevalent in America and I'm damned tired of it. If these people don't like the way the movie portrays retarded people, don't go see it. Hell if you're really offended, ask your family not to see it. But saying the movie needs to be banned is, well, retarded. If you don't like the fact that I'm throwing in the word retard as much as possible in this entry, you can go to hell. Don't keep reading, I won't be mad. Retarded retards acting like frickin retards are retarding their own efforts and looking like retards in the process. Still here? That's your choice. There are a lot of movies that offend me. The recent Sex and The City movie comes to mind, but you know what I always do when this happens? I spend my money elsewhere and I let other people with bad taste go and watch movies like that. It's really that simple.
It seems like every week there's a new example of overly sensitive people crying about something new. Quite frankly I hope they cry themselves to death, because at least then they'll spare the rest of us their constant bitching. Why are people getting so worked up in this case? Presumably because the word retard is being applied in a derogatory manner. Sure, but 20 years ago it was PC. 20 years from now people may be calling other people mentally handicapped in the exact same way and then the "cognitively challenged" will be pissed. Whatever, what we're talking about are semantics. It's just a word. If you don't consider yourself retarded (as another sign proclaimed), then why be offended? It's like black people calling each other "niggas" and getting unbelievably offended when any other color calls them the same. It's dumb. This is the United States and people are allowed to say what they want, why can't people get used to that? Athiests, agnostics and Jews getting all angry over Christians expressing their beliefs: fuck you. Christians getting uptight because The DaVinci Code says Jesus got married: get over it, it was a fictional novel. Chinese offended because a Spanish team took a photo holding their eyes in a slanted position: I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you do indeed have eyes that appear slanted, it's not racist to point out facts. Mentally handicapped upset because a new comedy uses the word retard a couple of times: don't go see it, all you're doing is giving it free publicity by protesting it like this.
The moral of the story is stop being a bunch of pussies America. Land of the free, that's what they call us. So stop getting your panties in a bunch just because people are saying things that offend you. People say stuff that offends me all the time. Hell people being offended by retarded shit offends me. You probably barely even noticed my use of retard in the last sentence now that I've saturated your eyes with it. Just another tip for the easily offended, words lose their edge when overused and left to fade away. Call it immersion therapy 101. But just like it's your right to be offended, it's the other person's right to offend. Remember that freedom is a two way street.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Why I'm Getting an STi or The Auto Enthusiast Defined
Let me begin my saying that I consider myself a legitimate car nut. Since before I could drive I’ve drooled over the curvaceous sheet metal and stared slack jawed at the performance figures of sports cars. I love memorizing the horsepower figures, engine configurations and 0-60 times of exotic supercars like Ferrari and Porsche. I thoroughly enjoy arguing the supremacy of my favorite cars against those of my friends.
So when I got a decent paying job I decided to get a car that a car enthusiast such as me would enjoy. My choice would be familiar to anybody who has paid any attention to the low priced sports car market over the past few years: a Subaru WRX. It’s quick, it handles well, it looks good and it has AWD which is a nice thing up here in VT. I bought the exact year (2005) and color (Black Obsidian Pearl) that I wanted and I haven’t been disappointed by the car once since. I love it. For 2 years now, I have loved it. However, I’m going to sell it.
Allow me to explain why I’ve decided to sell a car that I just confessed to loving. Like Brutus, it’s not that I loved my WRX less, but that I love the STi more. The Subaru WRX STi is the top dog model in the lineup of the Impreza line. It’s essentially my car with an improvement in everything; from the engine to the suspension to the interior. Basically, it’s much faster.
I knew, after my first test drive, that the WRX was the car for me. I’d driven perhaps 3 or 4 other cars that I was interested in, but none of them provided the feeling of “right” I got when I drove the WRX. So I got one. But when I drove the STi, it was as though that feeling of “right” had been ratcheted up another 5 notches. It seemed somehow “more right”. Many things between the two models were similar, and that familiarity made me instantly comfortable in the STi. But the things that were different seemed, at least to me, different for the better. So I have longed for the STi since that test drive and debated internally whether or not I should get one.
It’s taken a few months to come up with a final answer, but I did just the same. The answer is yes, I should. But it wasn’t a straight up answer to a simple question. The problem is, the decision makes almost no sense. Because I have inherited from my father an overly developed logic center, I had trouble convincing myself it was a good idea. This small doubt was fueled by friends and family telling me that I already had a nice car, one that I liked very much and it would be stupid to get a car that is so similar at this point. After all, I’ve paid off 2 years of the loan on my car. My favorite year for the STi is 2005, the same year as my car. So it’s not like I’m trading up into a newer vehicle. On top of that my car doesn’t get fantastic gas mileage as it is and the STi’s is even worse. In the world of $4/gallon gas ,that matters. Also most STi’s come with high performance summer tires to take advantage of the handling capabilities that the car possesses. But in Vermont, I need a good set of dedicated winter tires, especially with 300hp spinning my wheels. Since the STi has bigger, wider rims, those are going to cost more than my WRX’s. Then there’s insurance to consider, because the STi costs more to insure of course. And the ride is stiff, some people complain that it is uncomfortably so, which might matter since I do about 75% of my driving on frost heaved highways. It’s got a great set of Brembo brakes but the pads are very expensive to replace, and they cause a lot of brake dust which requires cleaning the rims and car frequently. Aside from brake pads most of the fluids are more expensive on the STi, either because they require a higher quality or simply a larger quantity. To finish it off, my WRX has the Premium package including a power moonroof, heated seats, heated rear view mirrors and windshield wiper defrosters (surprisingly useful). None of those things are available on the STi, and I really do enjoy each feature.
That is the list of Cons on the Pro/Con list in my mind. It’s fairly long and it makes a good argument against selling my car to get an STi. Adding to the confusion is the fact that the WRX has great aftermarket support and I can spend some time and money modifying my WRX to be almost as fast as the stock STi. So considering this, you may wonder why I’ve chosen to make the move anyway. Well that would be the list of things in my Pros column. There aren’t many, but they’ve got weight where it counts. It’s faster, it handles better, it looks more aggressive, but most importantly: it puts a bigger smile on my face. Yup, back to that feeling of “right”. In a contest between two cars that feel it, the STi feels it much more so. I can point to the reasons but they don’t matter. It’s like asking why you fall for a certain girl. She’s pretty, she’s funny, she’s whatever. What matters is she makes you happier than you would be without her. It’s the same with the right car.
After mulling it over for a while I looked at it like this: I’m an auto enthusiast. I love cars for what they are and what they do and I want to own the nicest car I can for these reasons. For me, that means owning the car that performs as close as possible to the cars I hung on my walls as a kid and still buy car magazines to read about. I need a car anyway, why not get one that fulfills a desire for a hobby as well? Being a car guy means being passionate about automobiles. Does getting an STi make logical or financial sense for me? Nope, not really. Am I going to get one anyway? You bet. Because when it comes down to it I don’t give a damn what makes sense. Since when is that the only good reason to do something? Because passion and practicality can exist separate from one another. Because having more of one often means less of the other. Because I know I place more importance on passion. And because I’m not promised a tomorrow. Who knows if I’ll be able to afford a car like this 10 years from now. Maybe I can get a nicer, faster car. Maybe not. But knowing that I can do it right now, that maybe this is the only chance I’ll get, I don’t think I have much of a choice. Being passionate sometimes means getting what you want, not what you need. But it also means that maybe, in the case of the car guy, those two mean exactly the same thing.
So when I got a decent paying job I decided to get a car that a car enthusiast such as me would enjoy. My choice would be familiar to anybody who has paid any attention to the low priced sports car market over the past few years: a Subaru WRX. It’s quick, it handles well, it looks good and it has AWD which is a nice thing up here in VT. I bought the exact year (2005) and color (Black Obsidian Pearl) that I wanted and I haven’t been disappointed by the car once since. I love it. For 2 years now, I have loved it. However, I’m going to sell it.
Allow me to explain why I’ve decided to sell a car that I just confessed to loving. Like Brutus, it’s not that I loved my WRX less, but that I love the STi more. The Subaru WRX STi is the top dog model in the lineup of the Impreza line. It’s essentially my car with an improvement in everything; from the engine to the suspension to the interior. Basically, it’s much faster.
I knew, after my first test drive, that the WRX was the car for me. I’d driven perhaps 3 or 4 other cars that I was interested in, but none of them provided the feeling of “right” I got when I drove the WRX. So I got one. But when I drove the STi, it was as though that feeling of “right” had been ratcheted up another 5 notches. It seemed somehow “more right”. Many things between the two models were similar, and that familiarity made me instantly comfortable in the STi. But the things that were different seemed, at least to me, different for the better. So I have longed for the STi since that test drive and debated internally whether or not I should get one.
It’s taken a few months to come up with a final answer, but I did just the same. The answer is yes, I should. But it wasn’t a straight up answer to a simple question. The problem is, the decision makes almost no sense. Because I have inherited from my father an overly developed logic center, I had trouble convincing myself it was a good idea. This small doubt was fueled by friends and family telling me that I already had a nice car, one that I liked very much and it would be stupid to get a car that is so similar at this point. After all, I’ve paid off 2 years of the loan on my car. My favorite year for the STi is 2005, the same year as my car. So it’s not like I’m trading up into a newer vehicle. On top of that my car doesn’t get fantastic gas mileage as it is and the STi’s is even worse. In the world of $4/gallon gas ,that matters. Also most STi’s come with high performance summer tires to take advantage of the handling capabilities that the car possesses. But in Vermont, I need a good set of dedicated winter tires, especially with 300hp spinning my wheels. Since the STi has bigger, wider rims, those are going to cost more than my WRX’s. Then there’s insurance to consider, because the STi costs more to insure of course. And the ride is stiff, some people complain that it is uncomfortably so, which might matter since I do about 75% of my driving on frost heaved highways. It’s got a great set of Brembo brakes but the pads are very expensive to replace, and they cause a lot of brake dust which requires cleaning the rims and car frequently. Aside from brake pads most of the fluids are more expensive on the STi, either because they require a higher quality or simply a larger quantity. To finish it off, my WRX has the Premium package including a power moonroof, heated seats, heated rear view mirrors and windshield wiper defrosters (surprisingly useful). None of those things are available on the STi, and I really do enjoy each feature.
That is the list of Cons on the Pro/Con list in my mind. It’s fairly long and it makes a good argument against selling my car to get an STi. Adding to the confusion is the fact that the WRX has great aftermarket support and I can spend some time and money modifying my WRX to be almost as fast as the stock STi. So considering this, you may wonder why I’ve chosen to make the move anyway. Well that would be the list of things in my Pros column. There aren’t many, but they’ve got weight where it counts. It’s faster, it handles better, it looks more aggressive, but most importantly: it puts a bigger smile on my face. Yup, back to that feeling of “right”. In a contest between two cars that feel it, the STi feels it much more so. I can point to the reasons but they don’t matter. It’s like asking why you fall for a certain girl. She’s pretty, she’s funny, she’s whatever. What matters is she makes you happier than you would be without her. It’s the same with the right car.
After mulling it over for a while I looked at it like this: I’m an auto enthusiast. I love cars for what they are and what they do and I want to own the nicest car I can for these reasons. For me, that means owning the car that performs as close as possible to the cars I hung on my walls as a kid and still buy car magazines to read about. I need a car anyway, why not get one that fulfills a desire for a hobby as well? Being a car guy means being passionate about automobiles. Does getting an STi make logical or financial sense for me? Nope, not really. Am I going to get one anyway? You bet. Because when it comes down to it I don’t give a damn what makes sense. Since when is that the only good reason to do something? Because passion and practicality can exist separate from one another. Because having more of one often means less of the other. Because I know I place more importance on passion. And because I’m not promised a tomorrow. Who knows if I’ll be able to afford a car like this 10 years from now. Maybe I can get a nicer, faster car. Maybe not. But knowing that I can do it right now, that maybe this is the only chance I’ll get, I don’t think I have much of a choice. Being passionate sometimes means getting what you want, not what you need. But it also means that maybe, in the case of the car guy, those two mean exactly the same thing.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Excuse Me
I rarely post on here anymore and I truly do consider that unfortunate. I could once again use the excuse that I'm just too busy, but it's a tired excuse that should be allowed to rest without the likes of me calling upon it to stand up for me every time I lose dedication or focus. It's an easy excuse because it's one we can all relate to. "Yeah, well I mean, he's busy. I can understand that, I'm busy too it must be hard to find the time..." The real trouble with an excuse is that it doesn't ever really go away. We kind of tuck it away in the back of our life toolbox and let it sit there, because you never know when you're going to need a good excuse; especially one that's worked in the past. And excuses are addictive. There's no doubt about it. I mean, a good excuse is a little like magic. You find yourself in trouble and you rummage through your past to find a good excuse, or perhaps spend time building a brand new one, and you pull it out and use it...and the problem disappears in a smoke of understanding.
Hi, my name is Josh Taylor, and I'm an excuse addict.
I'm trying to repent of my excusing-ways and move on, to get to a place where honesty and accountability are the expectation rather than the exception. I have no misconceptions about getting help from friends and family, this is something I'll need to do on my own. Because the truth of it is folks, each and every one of us is surrounded by excuse addicts. They're showing up late to restaurants in the form of our friends; they're writing excuses for the masses in health journals; hell, some of the biggest addicts I've ever seen are running the very country I live in. We live in an excuse addicted society that will accept our twisting of the truth (or outright lie if it's well designed) just so long as we promise to do the same when the roles are reversed. It's like a game we allow ourselves to play, as though nothing more than some antiquated notion of truth is at stake.
Perhaps it isn't, who can say? But for a minute I'd like to take the idealistic stance that truth is not an antiquated notion. That perhaps the way we have been syphoning away the moral reserves of our responsibility and accountability is less a one way street than it is a wrong turn. That maybe, just maybe, we can move closer from where we are now to where we all know we should be. A daunting task to be sure. An uphill struggle, undoubtedly. But a worthy cause? As worthy as they come. But I think we can all help each other. I'm taking the first step, putting myself out there. Welcome to Excusers Anonymous. Next time you come, bring a friend, or two, or three. I know there's no shortage of qualifying candidates.
The rules we will follow are very simple. First and foremost, we must take every effort to stop making excuses for ourselves. Own up to your mistakes. Looks so nice and easy written on a computer screen doesn't it? Almost trivial. "Of course I was raised to do that, it's simple. I mean, the only time I don't really is when other people are doing it too and if they're going to I might as well too." We're all guilty of trying to create an umbrella for ourselves so the shitstorm might slide off to one side or the other, rather than landing directly on our own heads. So what if it splashes someone else's shoes, they're the ones who chose to stand there. Because that's the real truth: an excuse almost always serves to not only get the blame off of ourselves, but actually point it as someone else. Re-assigning blame is the ugly stepsister of the excuse. Just look at politicians, they're literally professionals in this regard.
The second rule is that we cannot allow others to go on making excuses either. That means two different things. First, we can't make excuses for others. That's not much better than making them for ourselves. Secondly, we need to call them out on their bullshit when we hear it and recognize it. And let's be honest, excuses are rarely so well camouflaged that we mistake them for the truth. If we break that pact, then they aren't going to accept our excuses either and we've created a cycle where excuses are no longer acceptable.
So the next time you're late for work, or a dinner, or a meeting, don't blame traffic when you know damned well you left 15 minutes late. Don't say you can't quit smoking because all of your friends do it and it's impossible to quit when you're surrounded by it. Don't blame work for not spending enough time with your family when you find time to manage a fantasy baseball team or catch your team's game 3 nights a week. And don't tell us you misunderstood the question when you're running for public office and accidentally answered from your heart rather than using the scripted responses expected by your party. I'm so sick of one dimensional politicians who put more stock in keeping their political party happy than following their own beliefs I can't stand it. Most importantly, if you piss someone off because you listened to the advice I've written here, don't blame me. If you do, I'm just gonna blame Blogger for giving me the opportunity to write here anyway.
Hi, my name is Josh Taylor, and I'm an excuse addict.
I'm trying to repent of my excusing-ways and move on, to get to a place where honesty and accountability are the expectation rather than the exception. I have no misconceptions about getting help from friends and family, this is something I'll need to do on my own. Because the truth of it is folks, each and every one of us is surrounded by excuse addicts. They're showing up late to restaurants in the form of our friends; they're writing excuses for the masses in health journals; hell, some of the biggest addicts I've ever seen are running the very country I live in. We live in an excuse addicted society that will accept our twisting of the truth (or outright lie if it's well designed) just so long as we promise to do the same when the roles are reversed. It's like a game we allow ourselves to play, as though nothing more than some antiquated notion of truth is at stake.
Perhaps it isn't, who can say? But for a minute I'd like to take the idealistic stance that truth is not an antiquated notion. That perhaps the way we have been syphoning away the moral reserves of our responsibility and accountability is less a one way street than it is a wrong turn. That maybe, just maybe, we can move closer from where we are now to where we all know we should be. A daunting task to be sure. An uphill struggle, undoubtedly. But a worthy cause? As worthy as they come. But I think we can all help each other. I'm taking the first step, putting myself out there. Welcome to Excusers Anonymous. Next time you come, bring a friend, or two, or three. I know there's no shortage of qualifying candidates.
The rules we will follow are very simple. First and foremost, we must take every effort to stop making excuses for ourselves. Own up to your mistakes. Looks so nice and easy written on a computer screen doesn't it? Almost trivial. "Of course I was raised to do that, it's simple. I mean, the only time I don't really is when other people are doing it too and if they're going to I might as well too." We're all guilty of trying to create an umbrella for ourselves so the shitstorm might slide off to one side or the other, rather than landing directly on our own heads. So what if it splashes someone else's shoes, they're the ones who chose to stand there. Because that's the real truth: an excuse almost always serves to not only get the blame off of ourselves, but actually point it as someone else. Re-assigning blame is the ugly stepsister of the excuse. Just look at politicians, they're literally professionals in this regard.
The second rule is that we cannot allow others to go on making excuses either. That means two different things. First, we can't make excuses for others. That's not much better than making them for ourselves. Secondly, we need to call them out on their bullshit when we hear it and recognize it. And let's be honest, excuses are rarely so well camouflaged that we mistake them for the truth. If we break that pact, then they aren't going to accept our excuses either and we've created a cycle where excuses are no longer acceptable.
So the next time you're late for work, or a dinner, or a meeting, don't blame traffic when you know damned well you left 15 minutes late. Don't say you can't quit smoking because all of your friends do it and it's impossible to quit when you're surrounded by it. Don't blame work for not spending enough time with your family when you find time to manage a fantasy baseball team or catch your team's game 3 nights a week. And don't tell us you misunderstood the question when you're running for public office and accidentally answered from your heart rather than using the scripted responses expected by your party. I'm so sick of one dimensional politicians who put more stock in keeping their political party happy than following their own beliefs I can't stand it. Most importantly, if you piss someone off because you listened to the advice I've written here, don't blame me. If you do, I'm just gonna blame Blogger for giving me the opportunity to write here anyway.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Hate Crime = Hard Time, or, You > Me
Since it has been a while since my last post, why not make this one serious? Yeah, I know but sometimes I simply feel the need. This topic is something I've talked about with family and close friends about several times over the years, and it came up on Easter during a talk and I thought I'd share my thoughts on a larger stage. It's very possible that I'll come across as racist or homophobic or something along those lines. I guess there's not getting around that, but take my word that I am not ignorant and I do not hate faceless masses of people simply because they belong to a certain social or ethnic group. I've printed my disclaimer, now I'll get on with it. The topic in question is a law, or laws, commonly referred to as Hate Crimes.
For those who don't read newspapers or watch the NEWS, allow me to define Hate Crime. A hate crime, aka bias motivated crime, is a crime which is specifically targeted at an individual or individuals of a certain social group. Furthermore the perpetrators of these crimes are seeking not only to harm an individual, but also to instill fear and intimidation to other members of the group. There, a concise definition to work with.
Now, the laws associated with Hate Crimes first seek to define malice in the act towards the victim and then to appropriately punish the offender who committed not only a crime, but a crime which is "thought to inflict greater individual and societal harm" (Chief Justice Rehnquist). At this point you may be wondering if I'm about to make the argument for or against this classification of criminal activity. Well for those who read this blog regularly, you could probably guess that it's not going to be for. For the rest, allow me to state my view in no uncertain terms: These laws are un-American and place the rights, and even lives, of certain individuals on a higher plane than others.
Some people will go no further than the adjective un-American and say, "Oh here we go, another gun toting, NASCAR watching, Budweiser swilling redneck from the south trying to get his narrow mind around a much bigger issue." If you're one of those people, good for you. I don't own a gun, I despise NASCAR (check my second ever post on here for more on that), I don't mind Bud Light but I don't like Bud Heavy (as we up here call it) and I'm a New Englander whose mind is far from narrow, fuck you very much. Now that I've got that rebuke out of the way, allow me to continue.
As to the first part of this law, deciding if it was a hate crime or not, it's clear that the only prerequisite would be for the victim to be a minority, gay, or of the opposite gender from the accused. Yeah, I said it. For the second part, the punishment, this is where the un-American comes into play. Essentially, it's like Double Jeopardy. A buzzer goes off, music is played for dramatic effect and a whole new board full of increased penalties take the place of the previous penalties which would have been fine if the guy had only beat on a "normie" like me, but he didn't. The system is, for all intents and purposes, simply a penalty enhancement for people convicted of specifically targeted crimes. If you get in a bar fight with me (a WASP) and call me white trash or cracker or trailer trash, something like this, you're going to go to jail for 16 months. Because you were tougher than me and handed me a beating I may very well have deserved. If you get into a bar fight with a latin immigrant and call him a dirty Mexican, it was a racially motivate beating and you're going to prison for 3-5 years. Because you were tougher than him and handed him a beating her may very well have deserved. I'm making this up but you can see how it works.
So the two major problems I have are these: 1) Any crime committed against someone of an ethnic or sexual minority can easily fall into the Hate Crime category. 2) Why is it worse to beat up or insult or kill a minority than a white boy or girl or anyone NOT covered by the statute?
Example time. A girl is having drinks in a bar with friends and a drunk asshole walks by and grabs her ass. She tells him to cut it out and he grabs it again. She slaps him across the face and then knees him in the groin. What are people going to say? 'Atta girl, way to teach that prick a lesson he won't soon forget. And I wholeheartedly agree, she did the right thing and she should be given a pat on the back and I'd buy her a drink for it. But lets say it was a guy out with buddies having drinks, and a gay guy walks by and grabs his ass. Why would he do that? Maybe he thought the guy was also gay. Maybe it was an accident. Or maybe, he just wanted to fuck with the guy because he thought he could. So the guy tells him to cut it out or he'll kick his ass. The gay guy thinks he's lying, so he grabs his ass again and maybe pulls him towards himself. At this point the straight gentleman makes good on his promise and hands him a solid beating. I say good for him, this was no less an example of sexual harassment than the man grabbing the girl. I'll also say this: if a dude starts touching me and getting all up in my shit, I don't care how gay/straight/big/weak he is, I'm gonna do my best to kick his ass. Ignorant and violent? Maybe. But it's undeniable that few things teach you a quicker, more effective lesson than getting your ass kicked. I promise you that and if you don't believe me go try it. A man can walk around with any explanation he wants, but if your face is bruised and your knuckles aren't, your battle scars will sing the song of your defeat 24/7 until you're humbled or they're gone. Anyway, I say the guy did the right thing to teach a guy walking around conducting himself inappropriately a lesson, the courts say his actions were motivated by a deep seeded hatred and extreme intolerance. Or, maybe he doesn't like guys grabbing his ass.
But of course, the bigger issue here is why certain groups are given what are frequently termed as "special rights". You can argue all you want, but that fact of the matter remains that under Hate Crime jurisdiction, my life may not warrant the same level of reprimand, if taken, as a homosexual, or a black person, or a Jew, etc. The funny thing is, I remember reading a document somewhere that was supposed to be important, and it stated "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." Not, all men are created equal except men who like other men. Not, all men are created equal unless their ancestors are from a different country. Contradictions of slavery aside (at the time of that document I mean), this country was founded to be a level playing field for all men. I don't care about rich vs poor or any of that bleeding heart shit, not for this argument. What I'm saying here is that our laws are serving to uphold and even strengthen racism, sexism, and every other ism by granting exclusive rights to these individuals. Laws can't make people think a certain way, they can't change biases or prejudices. They can enforce them, which is what I believe Hate Crime laws succeed at doing. But you can't tell a man or woman, Think like this, and expect it to work.
Hate Crimes are a failure of bureaucracy, a weak attempt to bring down walls of division and lessen these barriers by creating laws to point out differences between people. It hasn't worked, it doesn't work, and it never will work. To look at a murder and say, you deserve extra punishment because you did it for the wrong reasons is preposterous. Violent crimes are violent crimes. Of course there was malice, of course there was hatred, of course there was evil at work. These are inherent in the nature of violent crime, why should we classify the act by breaking down the motivations? Is a man dead? It was murder. Premeditated or not, a dead person is dead because of another person's actions. It's completely redundant to say the person was killed because the killer hated them. This is obvious, people do not murder people they don't have any problem with.
Whether you agree or disagree, I invite you to think about the unfair nature of Hate Crime laws. You can claim they're necessary to battle ingorance, but I'd contend that you're ignorant to think this is an effective weapon for that battle. How about this, here's an exercise to test your resolve on this matter. Think of someone you know who would never be considered a victim of a hate crime. Perhaps a young, white, straight, male from a middle class background. Someone close to you. I'll think of myself or a member of my family. Now imagine someone murdering them for any reason at all. They catch the person who murdered them and now you're in court waiting for the verdict. But before it is reached another case has to be concluded. In this case a white man killed a black homosexual man and robbed him. The case had been declared a horrible Hate Crime and the man is sentenced to 35 years to life in a maximum security prison. You feel excited watching this, because you believe your killer will be equally punished, and deservedly so. Then the time comes that they announce his guilt and sentence him, for killing your loved one, to 200 months in prison with the possibility of parole. That's about 16.6 years. But why would his life be deemed only worth of 16 or 17 years if the man just before this one had been given twice that much time for the same offense? Well, to put it frankly, he was in the wrong social group at the wrong time. I'd be very interested to hear a convincing argument that this a fair and valid way to run our legal system.
For those who don't read newspapers or watch the NEWS, allow me to define Hate Crime. A hate crime, aka bias motivated crime, is a crime which is specifically targeted at an individual or individuals of a certain social group. Furthermore the perpetrators of these crimes are seeking not only to harm an individual, but also to instill fear and intimidation to other members of the group. There, a concise definition to work with.
Now, the laws associated with Hate Crimes first seek to define malice in the act towards the victim and then to appropriately punish the offender who committed not only a crime, but a crime which is "thought to inflict greater individual and societal harm" (Chief Justice Rehnquist). At this point you may be wondering if I'm about to make the argument for or against this classification of criminal activity. Well for those who read this blog regularly, you could probably guess that it's not going to be for. For the rest, allow me to state my view in no uncertain terms: These laws are un-American and place the rights, and even lives, of certain individuals on a higher plane than others.
Some people will go no further than the adjective un-American and say, "Oh here we go, another gun toting, NASCAR watching, Budweiser swilling redneck from the south trying to get his narrow mind around a much bigger issue." If you're one of those people, good for you. I don't own a gun, I despise NASCAR (check my second ever post on here for more on that), I don't mind Bud Light but I don't like Bud Heavy (as we up here call it) and I'm a New Englander whose mind is far from narrow, fuck you very much. Now that I've got that rebuke out of the way, allow me to continue.
As to the first part of this law, deciding if it was a hate crime or not, it's clear that the only prerequisite would be for the victim to be a minority, gay, or of the opposite gender from the accused. Yeah, I said it. For the second part, the punishment, this is where the un-American comes into play. Essentially, it's like Double Jeopardy. A buzzer goes off, music is played for dramatic effect and a whole new board full of increased penalties take the place of the previous penalties which would have been fine if the guy had only beat on a "normie" like me, but he didn't. The system is, for all intents and purposes, simply a penalty enhancement for people convicted of specifically targeted crimes. If you get in a bar fight with me (a WASP) and call me white trash or cracker or trailer trash, something like this, you're going to go to jail for 16 months. Because you were tougher than me and handed me a beating I may very well have deserved. If you get into a bar fight with a latin immigrant and call him a dirty Mexican, it was a racially motivate beating and you're going to prison for 3-5 years. Because you were tougher than him and handed him a beating her may very well have deserved. I'm making this up but you can see how it works.
So the two major problems I have are these: 1) Any crime committed against someone of an ethnic or sexual minority can easily fall into the Hate Crime category. 2) Why is it worse to beat up or insult or kill a minority than a white boy or girl or anyone NOT covered by the statute?
Example time. A girl is having drinks in a bar with friends and a drunk asshole walks by and grabs her ass. She tells him to cut it out and he grabs it again. She slaps him across the face and then knees him in the groin. What are people going to say? 'Atta girl, way to teach that prick a lesson he won't soon forget. And I wholeheartedly agree, she did the right thing and she should be given a pat on the back and I'd buy her a drink for it. But lets say it was a guy out with buddies having drinks, and a gay guy walks by and grabs his ass. Why would he do that? Maybe he thought the guy was also gay. Maybe it was an accident. Or maybe, he just wanted to fuck with the guy because he thought he could. So the guy tells him to cut it out or he'll kick his ass. The gay guy thinks he's lying, so he grabs his ass again and maybe pulls him towards himself. At this point the straight gentleman makes good on his promise and hands him a solid beating. I say good for him, this was no less an example of sexual harassment than the man grabbing the girl. I'll also say this: if a dude starts touching me and getting all up in my shit, I don't care how gay/straight/big/weak he is, I'm gonna do my best to kick his ass. Ignorant and violent? Maybe. But it's undeniable that few things teach you a quicker, more effective lesson than getting your ass kicked. I promise you that and if you don't believe me go try it. A man can walk around with any explanation he wants, but if your face is bruised and your knuckles aren't, your battle scars will sing the song of your defeat 24/7 until you're humbled or they're gone. Anyway, I say the guy did the right thing to teach a guy walking around conducting himself inappropriately a lesson, the courts say his actions were motivated by a deep seeded hatred and extreme intolerance. Or, maybe he doesn't like guys grabbing his ass.
But of course, the bigger issue here is why certain groups are given what are frequently termed as "special rights". You can argue all you want, but that fact of the matter remains that under Hate Crime jurisdiction, my life may not warrant the same level of reprimand, if taken, as a homosexual, or a black person, or a Jew, etc. The funny thing is, I remember reading a document somewhere that was supposed to be important, and it stated "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." Not, all men are created equal except men who like other men. Not, all men are created equal unless their ancestors are from a different country. Contradictions of slavery aside (at the time of that document I mean), this country was founded to be a level playing field for all men. I don't care about rich vs poor or any of that bleeding heart shit, not for this argument. What I'm saying here is that our laws are serving to uphold and even strengthen racism, sexism, and every other ism by granting exclusive rights to these individuals. Laws can't make people think a certain way, they can't change biases or prejudices. They can enforce them, which is what I believe Hate Crime laws succeed at doing. But you can't tell a man or woman, Think like this, and expect it to work.
Hate Crimes are a failure of bureaucracy, a weak attempt to bring down walls of division and lessen these barriers by creating laws to point out differences between people. It hasn't worked, it doesn't work, and it never will work. To look at a murder and say, you deserve extra punishment because you did it for the wrong reasons is preposterous. Violent crimes are violent crimes. Of course there was malice, of course there was hatred, of course there was evil at work. These are inherent in the nature of violent crime, why should we classify the act by breaking down the motivations? Is a man dead? It was murder. Premeditated or not, a dead person is dead because of another person's actions. It's completely redundant to say the person was killed because the killer hated them. This is obvious, people do not murder people they don't have any problem with.
Whether you agree or disagree, I invite you to think about the unfair nature of Hate Crime laws. You can claim they're necessary to battle ingorance, but I'd contend that you're ignorant to think this is an effective weapon for that battle. How about this, here's an exercise to test your resolve on this matter. Think of someone you know who would never be considered a victim of a hate crime. Perhaps a young, white, straight, male from a middle class background. Someone close to you. I'll think of myself or a member of my family. Now imagine someone murdering them for any reason at all. They catch the person who murdered them and now you're in court waiting for the verdict. But before it is reached another case has to be concluded. In this case a white man killed a black homosexual man and robbed him. The case had been declared a horrible Hate Crime and the man is sentenced to 35 years to life in a maximum security prison. You feel excited watching this, because you believe your killer will be equally punished, and deservedly so. Then the time comes that they announce his guilt and sentence him, for killing your loved one, to 200 months in prison with the possibility of parole. That's about 16.6 years. But why would his life be deemed only worth of 16 or 17 years if the man just before this one had been given twice that much time for the same offense? Well, to put it frankly, he was in the wrong social group at the wrong time. I'd be very interested to hear a convincing argument that this a fair and valid way to run our legal system.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Soundtrack of our Lives
So a couple nights ago on my way home from work (commute of about 40 mins) it occurred to me that maybe it was time for a new CD. I've had the same 6 in my changer for months now. Actually...in a strange twist of fate this idea came about because I was listening to a new CD. Allow me to explain.
On Friday night a few of my friends and I went to Hooters. For the food, of course; they make a mean buffalo chicken sandwich. Nah, I'm kidding, we went to see if there were any hot new waitresses because we hadn't been in a while. But we told the girls we went with that we were going because they make a mean buffalo chicken sandwich. Anyway, there was a local radio station doing giveaways at the restaurant. And because I'm a winner, I won. Also...pretty much everyone else at Hooters won too. There was a large assortment of useless items and under a t-shirt I saw a CD. Since I'm not in the habit of wearing sweet one size fits all shirts with radio station logos on them, I grabbed it. Anyway, I was psyched because it was a band I'd actually heard of and I really liked some of their stuff.
I'm going to make a long story short here and say that I put the disc in my player in my car and listened to the entire thing. Perhaps suffered through is a more appropriate way to phrase it. Knowing that a lot of times it takes me a couple of times to really like a new CD, I even listened to the whole thing a second time. After the final song came to an end for the second time I realized why that CD had been on the table to give away. It sucks. A lot. A really, really lot. I'm not going to say who the band was (Silverchair) or what the CD was called (Young Modern), but if you somehow know which one I'm talking about, avoid it like the plague.
After being dismayed at the incredible shitfest that my new CD turned out to be, I thought maybe I should just make one of my own for the first time in a while. So I got online, made a tentative list of songs I'd like to have on my disc, and got to work narrowing it down and putting the songs in order so that it flowed properly. Oh, and then I illegally downloaded every last one of them. Go to hell Lars Ulrich. Pleased with myself, I put the CD in my car the next morning and drove to work. I was completely unprepared for the aural orgasm I was about to experience. And experience it I did. Such was magical, musical journey, that by the time I got to work I was actually excited to be there. Excited to start my day. At this point I feel it pertinent to explain that I am not a morning person and it takes me a good 20 minutes to warm up after showing up at work. After those 20 minutes pass, you are welcome to talk to me. Just don't expect too much, because I'm probably still not in a great mood.
So I got to work excited, but it faded throughout the day and just as I thought I would fall asleep it was lunchtime. So I hopped in my car to go grab a bite and much to my delight, my CD was still raging. So I listened to it on the way to the store and then listened to it on the way back and I'll be damned if I wasn't just as psyched about life getting back to work as I had been in the morning. This was no mere CD, it was a soundtrack crafted by the music gods.
I have since listened to the CD a couple more times and each time I get out of my car looking like I just banged Jessica Alba. Alright, the CD's not THAT good. But maybe...like I'd just banged Ashley Simpson. She's not drop dead gorgeous, and you know you aren't planting a flag, but still, she's famous enough to make it exciting. I'm not sure how long the magic will last, but I'll enjoy it while it does. When it does fade, I'll still have a damn good mixed CD that works equally well for long drives by myself or rocking out with a group of friends. I'm sure a lot of people consider this a trivial matter, one not worth noting. But it's the little things that get us through the days and weeks, small victories. Music is a huge part of my life because it provides me with a soundtrack to live by. Few things can incite fits of nostalgia like a song you haven't heard in a decade. They bring you right back. And if I managed to create a soundtrack out of thin air (so to speak) for this point in my life that also has the power to uplift me, maybe that isn't such a small victory after all.
On Friday night a few of my friends and I went to Hooters. For the food, of course; they make a mean buffalo chicken sandwich. Nah, I'm kidding, we went to see if there were any hot new waitresses because we hadn't been in a while. But we told the girls we went with that we were going because they make a mean buffalo chicken sandwich. Anyway, there was a local radio station doing giveaways at the restaurant. And because I'm a winner, I won. Also...pretty much everyone else at Hooters won too. There was a large assortment of useless items and under a t-shirt I saw a CD. Since I'm not in the habit of wearing sweet one size fits all shirts with radio station logos on them, I grabbed it. Anyway, I was psyched because it was a band I'd actually heard of and I really liked some of their stuff.
I'm going to make a long story short here and say that I put the disc in my player in my car and listened to the entire thing. Perhaps suffered through is a more appropriate way to phrase it. Knowing that a lot of times it takes me a couple of times to really like a new CD, I even listened to the whole thing a second time. After the final song came to an end for the second time I realized why that CD had been on the table to give away. It sucks. A lot. A really, really lot. I'm not going to say who the band was (Silverchair) or what the CD was called (Young Modern), but if you somehow know which one I'm talking about, avoid it like the plague.
After being dismayed at the incredible shitfest that my new CD turned out to be, I thought maybe I should just make one of my own for the first time in a while. So I got online, made a tentative list of songs I'd like to have on my disc, and got to work narrowing it down and putting the songs in order so that it flowed properly. Oh, and then I illegally downloaded every last one of them. Go to hell Lars Ulrich. Pleased with myself, I put the CD in my car the next morning and drove to work. I was completely unprepared for the aural orgasm I was about to experience. And experience it I did. Such was magical, musical journey, that by the time I got to work I was actually excited to be there. Excited to start my day. At this point I feel it pertinent to explain that I am not a morning person and it takes me a good 20 minutes to warm up after showing up at work. After those 20 minutes pass, you are welcome to talk to me. Just don't expect too much, because I'm probably still not in a great mood.
So I got to work excited, but it faded throughout the day and just as I thought I would fall asleep it was lunchtime. So I hopped in my car to go grab a bite and much to my delight, my CD was still raging. So I listened to it on the way to the store and then listened to it on the way back and I'll be damned if I wasn't just as psyched about life getting back to work as I had been in the morning. This was no mere CD, it was a soundtrack crafted by the music gods.
I have since listened to the CD a couple more times and each time I get out of my car looking like I just banged Jessica Alba. Alright, the CD's not THAT good. But maybe...like I'd just banged Ashley Simpson. She's not drop dead gorgeous, and you know you aren't planting a flag, but still, she's famous enough to make it exciting. I'm not sure how long the magic will last, but I'll enjoy it while it does. When it does fade, I'll still have a damn good mixed CD that works equally well for long drives by myself or rocking out with a group of friends. I'm sure a lot of people consider this a trivial matter, one not worth noting. But it's the little things that get us through the days and weeks, small victories. Music is a huge part of my life because it provides me with a soundtrack to live by. Few things can incite fits of nostalgia like a song you haven't heard in a decade. They bring you right back. And if I managed to create a soundtrack out of thin air (so to speak) for this point in my life that also has the power to uplift me, maybe that isn't such a small victory after all.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Quick Announcement
Just a quick post here to announce that I'm now listed on VerveEarth. I was contacted by a member of the team for the website and after checking it out I was impressed with what I saw. Basically its a site that is attempting to create a map of the internet by listing interesting sites by location on a map of the world. I recommend checking it out, there's a link to the right on this page.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Bumper...Tickers?
Well as I'm sure absolutely everyone is aware of by now, '08 is an election year. If you missed the relentless campaign ads, myriad political signs and overly enthusiastic roadside supporters, you can always tell an election is near from another source: bumper stickers. Now, I'm not sure who decided it, or when it happened, but somewhere along the line people decided that there was no more appropriate, nor more convenient, place to express their deepest held beliefs and opinions than on the back of their car. Rednecks everywhere must be proud as hell.
Obama, Hillary, McCain, Huckabee, Paul. The names are plastered across the backs of cars all across America. And it's a damn good thing too. If it weren't for multitudes of names driving past me everyday on my way to work and to the movies and pretty much anywhere else I go, I don't think I'd know who to vote for. Luckily, such a problem does not exist. Selfless patriots for democracy all across my state, and indeed the country, have stepped forward to display their choice for the next leader of our country. I'm glad they have. In my car I keep a running tally and you'd better believe I'm casting my vote for the candidate whose name adorned the back of the most vehicles on the highways I travel. But not only have they displayed the name of the candidate they wish to compel me to vote for, they are clearly making a statement about the adversities we are facing as a nation, as well as the convictions and philosophical ideals they hold most dear. Dammit these protectors of our democratic institution should be given a second vote for caring so much. So from the bottom of my heart, I'd like to say to everyone out there who currently (or has ever) put a political bumper sticker on the back of their vehicle this: Nobody cares. So go to hell and get out of my way so I can get where I need to go without your views blinding me on the way there.
Let me make my views clear so there is no misunderstanding: Using a $2.99 bumper sticker to voice your opinions on complex topics such as politics, religion and philosophy is about the dumbest thing an intelligent individual can attempt to accomplish. Likewise, it's not a great option for legitimately stupid people either. I've never really understood the idea here to be honest. Oh I think that politician over on that side of the political spectrum is full of shit. To show my dismay I'm going to voice my support for this candidate over here on this side of the political spectrum who I think just might be slightly less full of shit. Ok, so then what? Do these people really just want everyone to know who they're going to vote for? Maybe, I mean it's not completely out of the question I suppose. But it's unlikely. It's unlikely because many people guard this information with every fiber of their being, scared that it could cause one of those horrible, confrontational political debates that seem to happen when you announce who it is you're going to vote for. Perhaps they do it so that they can get the word out for their candidate, free advertising for the person they think is the best choice. In some strange way perhaps they think they're actually influencing the votes of random people who see their car and think, Hey, that's a nice car. Would ya look at that? The owner of that car is voting for Hillary Clinton this year. Shucks, that's good enough for me. Hillary it is? I mean c'mon. Seems even more unlikely. But I'm sure that people asked this question would answer with something similar to this. But what's the truth?
Well even though ostensibly these people are simply proud to support a particular candidate (and I'm sure a small percentage are), I think there are ulterior motives here. Call me cynical, but I do. I think people use political bumper stickers as a conspicuous proclamation that they not only understand the essence of a very complicated political system (and believe me, it is complicated), but they also genuinely care. That's right, I'm saying people have these dumbass bumper stickers on their cars so they can bitch in the future and feel justified and furthermore so that they can have a free membership to the "I'm involved and I care" club. It's kind of like driving a hybrid. It's fashionable.
Don't get me wrong, I'm basically against all bumper stickers, not just political ones. I have many reasons but one is that I'm a car guy and I can't imagine defacing my vehicle by putting a bigass sticker with a stupid statement on it. The other is that they just don't do a damn thing. As I stated previously, if you have a serious statement and you think you can fit it within the confines of a six inch sticker, go ahead. But you're probably wrong. That having been said, I thought I'd finish off my sharing a few bumper stickers I actually did enjoy. Why did I enjoy these particular choices after shitting on bumper stickers for several paragraphs? Because they made me laugh, pure and simple. Enjoy:
-Jesus Loves You. But everyone else thinks you're an asshole-
-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory-
-Impotence: Natures way of saying "No Hard Feelings"-
-I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person-
-You! Out of the gene pool!-
-Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat-
-My feminine side is lesbian-
-I read about the evils of beer, so I quit reading-
-I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like his passenger-
I didn't say they were genius, I just said they made me laugh. Now go outside and take that damn bumper sticker off your car so I don't almost get in an accident trying to read it. Again.
Obama, Hillary, McCain, Huckabee, Paul. The names are plastered across the backs of cars all across America. And it's a damn good thing too. If it weren't for multitudes of names driving past me everyday on my way to work and to the movies and pretty much anywhere else I go, I don't think I'd know who to vote for. Luckily, such a problem does not exist. Selfless patriots for democracy all across my state, and indeed the country, have stepped forward to display their choice for the next leader of our country. I'm glad they have. In my car I keep a running tally and you'd better believe I'm casting my vote for the candidate whose name adorned the back of the most vehicles on the highways I travel. But not only have they displayed the name of the candidate they wish to compel me to vote for, they are clearly making a statement about the adversities we are facing as a nation, as well as the convictions and philosophical ideals they hold most dear. Dammit these protectors of our democratic institution should be given a second vote for caring so much. So from the bottom of my heart, I'd like to say to everyone out there who currently (or has ever) put a political bumper sticker on the back of their vehicle this: Nobody cares. So go to hell and get out of my way so I can get where I need to go without your views blinding me on the way there.
Let me make my views clear so there is no misunderstanding: Using a $2.99 bumper sticker to voice your opinions on complex topics such as politics, religion and philosophy is about the dumbest thing an intelligent individual can attempt to accomplish. Likewise, it's not a great option for legitimately stupid people either. I've never really understood the idea here to be honest. Oh I think that politician over on that side of the political spectrum is full of shit. To show my dismay I'm going to voice my support for this candidate over here on this side of the political spectrum who I think just might be slightly less full of shit. Ok, so then what? Do these people really just want everyone to know who they're going to vote for? Maybe, I mean it's not completely out of the question I suppose. But it's unlikely. It's unlikely because many people guard this information with every fiber of their being, scared that it could cause one of those horrible, confrontational political debates that seem to happen when you announce who it is you're going to vote for. Perhaps they do it so that they can get the word out for their candidate, free advertising for the person they think is the best choice. In some strange way perhaps they think they're actually influencing the votes of random people who see their car and think, Hey, that's a nice car. Would ya look at that? The owner of that car is voting for Hillary Clinton this year. Shucks, that's good enough for me. Hillary it is? I mean c'mon. Seems even more unlikely. But I'm sure that people asked this question would answer with something similar to this. But what's the truth?
Well even though ostensibly these people are simply proud to support a particular candidate (and I'm sure a small percentage are), I think there are ulterior motives here. Call me cynical, but I do. I think people use political bumper stickers as a conspicuous proclamation that they not only understand the essence of a very complicated political system (and believe me, it is complicated), but they also genuinely care. That's right, I'm saying people have these dumbass bumper stickers on their cars so they can bitch in the future and feel justified and furthermore so that they can have a free membership to the "I'm involved and I care" club. It's kind of like driving a hybrid. It's fashionable.
Don't get me wrong, I'm basically against all bumper stickers, not just political ones. I have many reasons but one is that I'm a car guy and I can't imagine defacing my vehicle by putting a bigass sticker with a stupid statement on it. The other is that they just don't do a damn thing. As I stated previously, if you have a serious statement and you think you can fit it within the confines of a six inch sticker, go ahead. But you're probably wrong. That having been said, I thought I'd finish off my sharing a few bumper stickers I actually did enjoy. Why did I enjoy these particular choices after shitting on bumper stickers for several paragraphs? Because they made me laugh, pure and simple. Enjoy:
-Jesus Loves You. But everyone else thinks you're an asshole-
-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory-
-Impotence: Natures way of saying "No Hard Feelings"-
-I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person-
-You! Out of the gene pool!-
-Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat-
-My feminine side is lesbian-
-I read about the evils of beer, so I quit reading-
-I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like his passenger-
I didn't say they were genius, I just said they made me laugh. Now go outside and take that damn bumper sticker off your car so I don't almost get in an accident trying to read it. Again.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Don't Judge Me
So I'm sitting here watching Letterman, realizing it's been a long time since my last post, and it occurs to me that I have plenty of time to do one right now. Lucky everyone. So back after a shortishly-long hiatus, here I am. What to talk about, what to talk about. Well, speaking of Letterman, one of my favorite supermodels (I consider myself something of a connoisseur), Marisa Miller, is going to be on tonight. This excites me very much. She's the kind of gorgeous that necessitates magazines such as Sports Illustrated Swimsuit just to document proof that women who look like her exist in the real world. Rather than just inside of the heads of men all over the world. She's unbelievably beautiful. However, as I write that it occurs to me that the word beautiful is thrown around too much to do her justice. Women like her deserve their own term. Since I'm not busy and I care so much, I'll come up with a word for her right now. I know what you're thinking, but scrumtrulescent is already taken. Great word though. But my new word has to sound sexy, desirable and its gotta be fun to say. Well I'm going to need a minute to think of something, so we'll come back to that.
I went to court today. I went to court because I have a seemingly inherent inability to obey traffic laws. I'll admit it. I've been driving for about 7 years now and I'm not sure a day has gone by that I drove an automobile and managed not to break at least one law in some way. I drive too fast, I accelerate quickly, I change lanes suddenly and without using a signal and that's just on a normal day. Over the years with my friends I've done some truly dangerous stuff and some admittedly stupid stuff as well. That having been said, I never, ever get caught for doing the really dumb shit. My luck dictates that after I get off a motorcycle that I just maxed out on the highway at 160mph, I'll get pulled over in a Toyota Tercel doing 48 in a 40 on my way to the grocery store. I know, I shouldn't complain about getting picked up for the "little" infraction rather than something that could land me in jail, it just seems ridiculous and pointless somehow. Anyway, I was visiting my friendly neighborhood courthouse today because back in November I allegedly ran a red light in plain sight of a police officer. I, of course, thought I made the yellow and he clearly didn't. Anyway, I have plenty of experience with tickets, and I always fight them. I encourage you to do the same. Why? Two reasons: 1) It always takes a few months before your court date and that means a delay before you have to pay the fine. 2) You never know, you might get lucky. If you don't believe me I'll put my own experience out there for you. I don't remember the exact number but off the top of my head I believe this was the 7th or 8th time I've been to court to fight a ticket. Of those 7 or 8 tickets I have paid 2 and half of a 3rd. Yup, Fuck Tha Po-lice.
This has been a long preamble to arrive at my main point. Traffic court sucks. I've never done anything (well, never been caught doing anything) worthy of placing me in a criminal court, so I have no experience there. But at traffic court it's just you, the cop and the judge. Generally speaking, the officer is an idiot. I know, I know, but this isn't just cop hate. They never really help you because they almost never manage to answer even the most basic questions appropriately. Not to mention, at this point they're powerless. The judge is the one who decides whether you leave elated or infuriated. So you try to explain your argument to the judge to avoid paying the ticket. The problem is, it's a one sided argument. You bitch about how wrong the cop is, and the judge just stares at you blankly. Then, after you're done, it's the judges turn. It invariably involves a lecture about how wrong you were and how and why to be more safe in the future. But this is the first you get to hear the judges side and you aren't allowed to argue. As an example, I've got some excerpts from my court appearance today. These aren't direct quotes but they'll give you an idea of what I'm talking about.
Judge: After she completely misinterpreted a crucial fact in the case (as was admitted by the officer after her decision), I attempt to correct her. "You'll sit there quietly, this is not a discussion. I'm going to talk now." Sweet, thanks.
About my argument that in this instance it was better to continue through the intersection than slam on my brakes and slide into the middle of it: "It is ALWAYS a safer, better decision to lock up your brakes and come to a stop in the middle of an intersection than fly through it. Cars are made to be hit in the front and to be hit in the rear. They aren't made to be hit in the sides." Gee, I thought cars were made to be driven. Besides, wouldn't stopping in an intersection create a perfect T-bone situation?
Finally coming to her conclusion: "It doesn't matter that there were no other cars around, somebody could have hit you. This is a dangerous habit to form." That's a head scratcher.
Anyway, needless to say I lost the case. Which is fine. Even though I didn't put anybody in danger, it's perfectly possible that I didn't make the light and I flew through a red light. What I can't stand is the condescending demeanor with which I was treated and the judge's ability to be an idiot while overruling any argument I might make, regardless of its legitimacy. The judge didn't know what she was talking about, but that didn't matter. She is beyond reproach. Which is fortunate for her, because she was the John Madden of jurisprudence. Except that instead of pointing out the incredibly obvious, she pointed out the incredibly stupid and illogical.
Anyway, sorry to vent to you after being gone so long but what can I say, I'm selfish as hell. I really should be going now, it looks like the ultrabangasmic Marisa Miller is about to make her appearance. Oh, you like my new word? Yeah, me too. I decided to abandon the sexy part and just make it juvenile and awesome. I think I succeeded. But please, resist the urge to use this fantastic new phrase for everything you think is cool or desirable. If you do that, it will lose its very special meaning. And I'll have to come up with yet another word, which is something nobody wants. Have an ultrabangasmic week.
-Huh, what's that? Fuck you. I invented the word, I'll use it as much as I damn well please-
I went to court today. I went to court because I have a seemingly inherent inability to obey traffic laws. I'll admit it. I've been driving for about 7 years now and I'm not sure a day has gone by that I drove an automobile and managed not to break at least one law in some way. I drive too fast, I accelerate quickly, I change lanes suddenly and without using a signal and that's just on a normal day. Over the years with my friends I've done some truly dangerous stuff and some admittedly stupid stuff as well. That having been said, I never, ever get caught for doing the really dumb shit. My luck dictates that after I get off a motorcycle that I just maxed out on the highway at 160mph, I'll get pulled over in a Toyota Tercel doing 48 in a 40 on my way to the grocery store. I know, I shouldn't complain about getting picked up for the "little" infraction rather than something that could land me in jail, it just seems ridiculous and pointless somehow. Anyway, I was visiting my friendly neighborhood courthouse today because back in November I allegedly ran a red light in plain sight of a police officer. I, of course, thought I made the yellow and he clearly didn't. Anyway, I have plenty of experience with tickets, and I always fight them. I encourage you to do the same. Why? Two reasons: 1) It always takes a few months before your court date and that means a delay before you have to pay the fine. 2) You never know, you might get lucky. If you don't believe me I'll put my own experience out there for you. I don't remember the exact number but off the top of my head I believe this was the 7th or 8th time I've been to court to fight a ticket. Of those 7 or 8 tickets I have paid 2 and half of a 3rd. Yup, Fuck Tha Po-lice.
This has been a long preamble to arrive at my main point. Traffic court sucks. I've never done anything (well, never been caught doing anything) worthy of placing me in a criminal court, so I have no experience there. But at traffic court it's just you, the cop and the judge. Generally speaking, the officer is an idiot. I know, I know, but this isn't just cop hate. They never really help you because they almost never manage to answer even the most basic questions appropriately. Not to mention, at this point they're powerless. The judge is the one who decides whether you leave elated or infuriated. So you try to explain your argument to the judge to avoid paying the ticket. The problem is, it's a one sided argument. You bitch about how wrong the cop is, and the judge just stares at you blankly. Then, after you're done, it's the judges turn. It invariably involves a lecture about how wrong you were and how and why to be more safe in the future. But this is the first you get to hear the judges side and you aren't allowed to argue. As an example, I've got some excerpts from my court appearance today. These aren't direct quotes but they'll give you an idea of what I'm talking about.
Judge: After she completely misinterpreted a crucial fact in the case (as was admitted by the officer after her decision), I attempt to correct her. "You'll sit there quietly, this is not a discussion. I'm going to talk now." Sweet, thanks.
About my argument that in this instance it was better to continue through the intersection than slam on my brakes and slide into the middle of it: "It is ALWAYS a safer, better decision to lock up your brakes and come to a stop in the middle of an intersection than fly through it. Cars are made to be hit in the front and to be hit in the rear. They aren't made to be hit in the sides." Gee, I thought cars were made to be driven. Besides, wouldn't stopping in an intersection create a perfect T-bone situation?
Finally coming to her conclusion: "It doesn't matter that there were no other cars around, somebody could have hit you. This is a dangerous habit to form." That's a head scratcher.
Anyway, needless to say I lost the case. Which is fine. Even though I didn't put anybody in danger, it's perfectly possible that I didn't make the light and I flew through a red light. What I can't stand is the condescending demeanor with which I was treated and the judge's ability to be an idiot while overruling any argument I might make, regardless of its legitimacy. The judge didn't know what she was talking about, but that didn't matter. She is beyond reproach. Which is fortunate for her, because she was the John Madden of jurisprudence. Except that instead of pointing out the incredibly obvious, she pointed out the incredibly stupid and illogical.
Anyway, sorry to vent to you after being gone so long but what can I say, I'm selfish as hell. I really should be going now, it looks like the ultrabangasmic Marisa Miller is about to make her appearance. Oh, you like my new word? Yeah, me too. I decided to abandon the sexy part and just make it juvenile and awesome. I think I succeeded. But please, resist the urge to use this fantastic new phrase for everything you think is cool or desirable. If you do that, it will lose its very special meaning. And I'll have to come up with yet another word, which is something nobody wants. Have an ultrabangasmic week.
-Huh, what's that? Fuck you. I invented the word, I'll use it as much as I damn well please-
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
New Year's Revolutions
So the start of the new year is upon us and I'm sure that many people, if not most people, have created some resolutions. Lose weight, clean out the garage, learn to salsa dance, that sort of thing. Here's the thing about New Year's Resolutions though: they're bullshit. Yup, bullshit. If you've made a resolution in the past that you stuck to or are still sticking to, good for you, but the truth is most people see it as a temporary promise they can forget a month down the line. Why? Because that's what the majority of people do.
As for myself, I don't make resolutions, not in the typical sense anyway. Instead I do a couple of things. First I look back on the previous year and ask myself if I'm better off now than I was 1 year ago from that day. Maybe I'm happier overall, or I bought the car I've wanted for a long time (I did), or I finally wrote an entire book (did that too), just anything that I think puts me in a better position in my life than I was in before this past year began. In a good year this allows me to reflect back and appreciate my accomplishments; in a bad year it motivates me to move on to step 2. Step 2 involves planning for my reflection next year. When I look back next year how will I want to remember this year? Did I elevate myself in some way? For example, I'd like to write another book this year. Maybe this one actually gets published, who knows. It sounds like a resolution but it's not. It isn't always that specific. I simply want to improve myself from this year to next.
If you're wondering what the difference is here's an example. The big resolution is, of course, lose weight. People write it down on their calendars: January 1 - Lose 20 lbs. There, a goal to journey towards. But it's a bullshit goal and it's unrealistic. Most people don't even know what it means to lose 20 lbs, let alone understand that they may be replacing fat with muscle, which weighs more. Instead, I suggest promising to yourself that you'll exercise at least 3 times a week, every week. Or take up an active hobby like softball or basketball or bicycling. Because when you look back next year you'll be able to focus in on being more healthy rather than missing an arbitrary number that you pulled out of your (fat) ass.
So, in lieu of a specific goal or list of goals I encourage you to simply embrace your life and choose to be better this year. Healthier, happier, stronger, smarter. Whatever gets you excited. Decide that 2008 will kick ass and embark on the trek of 366 days (it's a leap year) with this core philosophy. Repeat it like a mantra if you have to. Don't worry about not having time or not having money or all of the excuses we all use to put off the things we want to do. Do it. Live this year. If you do nothing else, make sure you can cross off one thing you want to do before you die from your list. Don't make excuses. Think about yourself 12 months in the future and ask if you'll forgive yourself for not having tried. Yeah you were busy and kind of broke, but will you care about those things a year from now? Or will you care that you can look back on the year and point to that thing and say, "There, I did that thing. Everything else aside, I accomplished that." Just do something. Because that's all life is. We live it in days, weeks, months and years. Make this year great. Best wishes for '08.
As for myself, I don't make resolutions, not in the typical sense anyway. Instead I do a couple of things. First I look back on the previous year and ask myself if I'm better off now than I was 1 year ago from that day. Maybe I'm happier overall, or I bought the car I've wanted for a long time (I did), or I finally wrote an entire book (did that too), just anything that I think puts me in a better position in my life than I was in before this past year began. In a good year this allows me to reflect back and appreciate my accomplishments; in a bad year it motivates me to move on to step 2. Step 2 involves planning for my reflection next year. When I look back next year how will I want to remember this year? Did I elevate myself in some way? For example, I'd like to write another book this year. Maybe this one actually gets published, who knows. It sounds like a resolution but it's not. It isn't always that specific. I simply want to improve myself from this year to next.
If you're wondering what the difference is here's an example. The big resolution is, of course, lose weight. People write it down on their calendars: January 1 - Lose 20 lbs. There, a goal to journey towards. But it's a bullshit goal and it's unrealistic. Most people don't even know what it means to lose 20 lbs, let alone understand that they may be replacing fat with muscle, which weighs more. Instead, I suggest promising to yourself that you'll exercise at least 3 times a week, every week. Or take up an active hobby like softball or basketball or bicycling. Because when you look back next year you'll be able to focus in on being more healthy rather than missing an arbitrary number that you pulled out of your (fat) ass.
So, in lieu of a specific goal or list of goals I encourage you to simply embrace your life and choose to be better this year. Healthier, happier, stronger, smarter. Whatever gets you excited. Decide that 2008 will kick ass and embark on the trek of 366 days (it's a leap year) with this core philosophy. Repeat it like a mantra if you have to. Don't worry about not having time or not having money or all of the excuses we all use to put off the things we want to do. Do it. Live this year. If you do nothing else, make sure you can cross off one thing you want to do before you die from your list. Don't make excuses. Think about yourself 12 months in the future and ask if you'll forgive yourself for not having tried. Yeah you were busy and kind of broke, but will you care about those things a year from now? Or will you care that you can look back on the year and point to that thing and say, "There, I did that thing. Everything else aside, I accomplished that." Just do something. Because that's all life is. We live it in days, weeks, months and years. Make this year great. Best wishes for '08.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
WWW #18
Happy New Year everyone, I hope your night of transition was as fun and crazy as mine was. I've been a bit sporadic with posts the last couple of weeks but things should be settling down now and I'll be back on top of this blog. Without further ado, today's WWW:
A habit is exactly as strong as you are weak. -JT
I thought that was appropriate given the resolutions that people have made and will most likely abandon sometime around February 1st. Don't let that happen. Pick something you truly think will improve your life and stick with it. Later.
A habit is exactly as strong as you are weak. -JT
I thought that was appropriate given the resolutions that people have made and will most likely abandon sometime around February 1st. Don't let that happen. Pick something you truly think will improve your life and stick with it. Later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
